Copyright 2021 Danica Avery
The silence was deafening. Ryan was seated on the couch, head tilted downward, his eyes on the screen of his phone. His black hair was long, in need of a trim. His stubble was starting to turn into a beard. She wasn’t sure how long it had been since he shaved.
Aiyana was seated in the chair beside the couch. Dressed in a faded Ramones t-shirt that was missing sleeves and a pair of cutoff denim shorts with black fishnet stockings. Her hair was naturally black, but had streaks of purple in it. Her wrists were decorated in various bracelets. On her feet were some flashy combat boots. It was an outfit she had worn a lot in the last two years. The same outfit she used to wear to gigs for her band.
She hadn’t seen her band in a very long time.
“I wish things could go back to the way they used to be…” she said softly. Ryan didn’t respond. Didn’t even act like he heard her.
That was nothing new. At one time they were inseparable. So madly in love with each other. Happy. Now it was almost like they didn’t know each other anymore. He never looked at her. Never smiled at her. Never even touched her. Damn, did she miss his touch…
“I know I made a mistake. I never should have invited him into the apartment,” she continued. Ryan only sighed. He used his finger to swipe something on his phone. It was like she didn’t exist.
“If I could take it back, I would. You know that, right?”
Nothing. Ryan turned away from her chair. Giving her the cold shoulder.
“If only you could just fuckin’ listen to me!” she said, growing more frustrated. She stood up from the couch, walking over to stand in front of him.
“I want you to know the truth, Ryan. I need you to know it…” she pleaded. Just then, her cat, Stachio, jumped up on the arm of the couch. She let out a meow, her tail swishing back and forth. It was feeding time and she was hungry.
“Fuck off!” Ryan shouted. He tossed his phone down on the couch cushions and stood up. Aiyana took a step back. Angry outbursts had always been a commonplace with him. He had a temper. But lately it seemed worse. Some days he was just so bitter and spiteful. Like he hated the world. Aiyana didn’t know what she could do to fix it. He wouldn’t even talk to her.
He strode away from the couch, brisk steps, towards the bedroom. The apartment was a mess. Papers and trash littered the kitchen table. Clothes were scattered across the floor. Cat litter had been tracked down the hall. Beer bottles covered the coffee table. Aiyana tried to clean it up, but no matter how hard she tried, the mess seemed glued in place.
She followed him to the bedroom, standing in the doorway. She watched him undress. He was getting ready for work. He was a bartender. That was where they had met. She had been doing a gig for her band, and he had offered to buy her a drink. One thing led to another, and soon enough, they ended up intertwined in his bed. The very same bed he was tossing his t-shirt onto right now.
He put on a fresh shirt and a pair of jeans. He didn’t change his socks. With his shoes on, he stood from the bed and walked towards the doorway, where she was still standing.
“I love you, Ryan. I always will,” she said sincerely. He didn’t respond. He walked up to the doorway, and then he passed right through her.
Two years ago, she had unknowingly invited a vampire into their home. He killed her that night. Bit her and drained her dry. Then he covered up her murder by making it look like a car accident. She came back the next night but… no one could see her.
She was a ghost.
The outfit she wore was the same one she had been wearing the night she was murdered. She couldn’t leave the apartment. Every time she tried, she was transported right back. She could talk to Ryan but he couldn’t hear her. She could move things around sometimes but it took a lot of effort. Most of the time, she couldn’t do anything.
For two years, she had lived with Ryan but she was completely and utterly alone. She watched him as he grieved her death. She watched him as he tried to move on. She bitterly watched him have one night stands with other women. She watched him show love and compassion to her cat, that he had claimed to hate so much when she was alive.
She had tried countless times to reach out to him. To let him know she was still there. But no matter how hard she tried, he just couldn’t see her… They lived together, but the two of them couldn’t possibly feel more alone.
She walked from the bedroom to the living room, where Ryan had gone to retrieve his phone. On the screen was a picture of the two of them. Him looking irritated, while she was leaning in to plant a kiss on his cheek. She could remember the exact day that picture was taken.
They were in NYC. On the street, a man was selling overpriced flowers. The flowers were wilting. They weren’t worth the money. Ryan knew that. He told her he’d find her some flowers elsewhere. Cheaper ones that looked better. But when she wanted something, she didn’t let it go until she got her way. She talked him into buying the shitty flowers, and their petals fell off before they even made it back to the car.
He was complaining about the flowers, when she leaned in to plant that kiss on his cheek. She told him, it wasn’t about the flowers, it was the fact that he got them for her, despite his better judgement. Because he wanted to make her happy. Because he loved her.
They had been so in love…
Would they ever be in love again? Or was this it for them? Was she doomed to spend eternity watching him? Watching him through happy times and sad? Watching him as he finally moved on and found that same love with someone else…?
Ryan pocketed his phone, then went to the kitchen. He poured Stachio some food in her dish, in which the cat ran over and quickly began eating. He found his keys, and headed for the door.
She didn’t bother telling him goodbye. He wouldn’t hear her. She watched him open the door, slam it and he was gone.
Life as a ghost was pretty bleak. At least when Ryan was home, she had something to do. When he was gone, there was nothing. She had nothing to do, no one to talk to. She couldn’t even interact with the damn cat. Though she had definitely tried.
With a heavy sigh, she walked over to the couch and moved to lay down on it. She stared up at the ceiling. All she could do now was wait.
Sometimes when she was alone she would think about her band. Her music. Try to come up with a new song. Just something to pass the time. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if she could make music anymore. She couldn’t do anything. She technically didn’t exist.
She wasn’t sure how long she had laid there on the couch, running words over inside her head. Could have been minutes, could have been hours. She wasn’t keeping track. She had fallen into a sort of trance, and was immediately brought out of it when suddenly the apartment door swung open.
Ryan rushed inside, pushing the door shut with his back. His forearm was wrapped in a cloth. The cloth was stained with blood. He held his wounded arm to his chest, breathing heavily. His bearded face was white with fear.
Aiyana, feeling worried, quickly stood from the couch. What happened to him? Was he okay?! She rushed over to him, to get a better look at his arm, but as she approached him, his eyes went wide in shock. Bright and blue, they stared at her, and this time, he wasn’t looking through her.
He was looking directly at her.
“Holy shit… Aiyana?!”