In the Dog House

“I can’t believe I agreed to this,” Kayden said, pulling off his shirt. He was standing in the kennel room of the warehouse. The back wall was lined with dog kennels that were only used when someone came to purchase one of their dogs. Their dogs being one of them.

“T’ink of the fookin’ money, man,” Liam said, beside him.

Mina had filled everyone in on the plan that morning. Of course they were excited. They weren’t the ones that would have to live as a dog for who knows how long.

“The money’s the only reason I agreed to this,” Kayden replied. He handed Liam his shirt, then unbuttoned his jeans.

“Just imagine. No more fookin’ robberies. In a few months from now, me and ya could be sittin’ grand-like on a beach somewhere. Or better yet, go somewhere fookin’ magical like that Bruges place in that movie we watched.”

“Do you think the swan is still there?” Kayden asked in an English accent, making a joke from the movie Liam referenced.

Liam laughed and Kayden chuckled along with him. As much as he acted like Liam got on his nerves, the two of them were thick as thieves. Liam had become like a brother to him. A giant Irish brother that drank and swore a lot.

“Ya pull this off, brother, and we’re all gonna owe ya big style,” said Liam. He patted his large hand onto Kayden’s bare back.

“Do you really think we can rob a bank?” Kayden asked as he stepped out of his pants. There was still some doubt in the back of his mind. He had been in shifter jail once before. He didn’t plan on going back.

“Max is already on it. By the time ya nab those codes, he’ll have researched everythin’ we need to pull this off. We’ll be ready and waitin’ on ya. Then we rob that bank and we’re fookin’ outta here, man.”

Liam made it sound easy. Mina did too. Get the security codes, rob the bank, take off never to be seen again. Kayden wasn’t that naive. Shit could go south. They could get caught. And what if he couldn’t get the security codes? There was no guarantee that he could. Maybe the guy kept his work and home life separate. There was no real way to know that everything was going to work out like they planned.

“Gettin’ the codes is gonna be the hard part.” Kayden let out a sigh. The last of his clothes came off, leaving him standing there in front of Liam stark naked. He wasn’t embarrassed and Liam thought nothing of it either. They were shifters. Being naked came with the territory. Clothes didn’t shift with them.

“Ya got this,” Liam said in an attempt to be encouraging.

Kayden simply nodded in response. After his clothes were gathered, he passed them to his friend. He took a moment, letting out a long breath, then he started to shift. Bones cracked, his hands turned to paws, his face grew a snout, and soon enough, he was fully transformed into a Doberman pinscher.

Liam pushed open one of the kennels and Kayden trotted inside. Liam locked him in and patted the cage door. It was one last gesture of encouragement. As he turned away, Lola and Nori were coming in.

“Hurry up, youse two,” said Liam. “He’ll be here any minute.”

“We’re hurrying,” replied Nori. She grinned as she chucked her sports bra at him.

Since their front was a place that trained and sold dogs, they needed other dogs to keep up the appearance. The girls shifted into their canine forms.

Nori became a brown and white boxer mix and Lola was a black pit bull. Liam shut them into individual kennels. He then left with an armful of clothing.

A short time later, Mina came into the room. A man followed behind her, and Liam after the two of them. The man was of average height, overweight, and had thinning light brown hair. He was dressed in a suit. It wasn’t a suit made of expensive material. It looked plain, like it came from a department store. He didn’t scream wealth like their usual buyers.

“Here he is,” Mina said as she approached Kayden’s kennel. “We don’t believe in cropping and docking our dogs here, so he has both his tail and his ears, but I promise you, he’s purebred.”

The man stepped up to the kennel for a look. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Doberman without a docked tail.”

“Tail or not, Kade is an excellent dog. You have this dog in your house and someone would be stupid to break in,” Mina said.

It was ironic, really. They sold themselves to these people as protection dogs. Dogs that would guard their homes and their families. Then they turned around and robbed them. The very thing they were buying the dogs to prevent. It all came full circle.

“I believe it. My dog, Dodger, he never left my side. I got him when I was a teenager, and I used to live in the rough part of town, you know. No one ever bothered me when I had him with me,” the man explained.

Mina nodded her head, pretending like she understood.

“Dobermans are great dogs. Super intelligent. Kade here knows many commands. From basic obedience to attacking and disarming. Pretty much anything you want, he can do it. You’re buying a living and breathing security system right here,” Mina said. She was using her usual sales pitch.

The man let out a light laugh that sounded disbelieving. He looked again at Kayden and debated. To help convince him, Kayden approached the kennel door, wagging his tail. That made the man smile and he reached his fingers through the chain-link fence. Kayden licked his hand. Something he definitely wouldn’t have done as a human but it needed to be done as a dog. He had to win the guy over.

“Hey there, boy,” said the man.

“You won’t find a better dog than Kade. Would you like to see some of the things he can do?” Mina asked.

“Uh, sure.” The man straightened and moved out of the way.

“Come, Kade,” Mina said, after she pulled open the kennel door.

He followed her out of the kennel room and onto the open floor of the warehouse. The man followed as well, along with Liam trailing behind them like a giant shadow.

“Like I said, he knows basic obedience like sit. And down.”

When Mina spoke each word, Kayden sat then laid down.

“But he can do so much more than that. You won’t need a leash with this dog. He can heel perfectly. Kade. Heel.” Mina walked away from the two men and Kayden followed obediently at her right side, staying even with her legs as she walked.

“If say… you drop something,” Mina said, walking to take a water bottle from a nearby table. “He’ll pick it up for you. Just point to it and say ‘take it’.”

She dropped the bottle to the floor to demonstrate. Kayden picked it up with his mouth and allowed her to take it from him.

“Sometimes you don’t have to command him. He’s really good at reading people.”

The expression on the man’s face was nothing short of impressed. “You weren’t lying about him being smart.”

“No, sir. We’ve put hours and hours into this dog. Our dogs are the best of the best. We want to make sure you get your money’s worth,” she assured him. “Now when it comes to the protection part of his training, Kade will attack on command. Liam.”

Liam nodded and walked over to retrieve a dog bite sleeve. He slid his arm into the thick, padded material.

“Kade, fass!” Mina instructed, stern and sharp.

This was always the fun part of the demonstration. The smirk couldn’t be seen on Kayden’s canine face, but it was felt inwardly as he ran at Liam and latched onto the bite sleeve. He locked his jaws, growled, and shook his head violently. Even a big man like Liam struggled to hold still as he was jerking on that sleeve.

“Whoa…” the man said in shock. “What was that command you used?”

“It’s German,” she replied. “We train the attack commands in German. That way there’s no accidents or slip of the tongue, confusing the dog.”

Liam continued to struggle as Kayden mauled the sleeve. Liam lifted him from the ground, just to show how strong his bite was. Kayden latched on harder, digging his teeth in deeper, growling more viciously.

“Kade, aus!” Mina commanded.

Kayden immediately let go and obediently returned to her side.

“I can go over a list of commands with you. We have a printout. When you purchase him, you’ll have everything you need to control him.”

“And he’ll listen to me like he does you?” the man asked hesitantly.

“Of course. You can give it a try right now, if you want. Tell him to do something,” Mina said.

“Uh, okay. Kade, come.” Kayden walked over to him. “Good boy. Uh, sit.” Kayden lowered his butt to the ground. The man smiled confidently. “This dog is amazing.”

“What did I tell you?” said Mina with a smile.

“I thought two thousand dollars was a lot for a dog when I first called you, but now it makes sense. I’ll take him.”

“Awesome! You won’t be disappointed. All of our dogs are guaranteed. If they do anything they’re not supposed to, or if you’re dissatisfied in any way, you just call us and we’ll give you your money back.”

“I don’t see how a dog like this could ever disappoint,” the man said.

“Step into my office and we can discuss how you’re paying.” Mina gestured towards her office and the two of them disappeared inside.

“Ya nearly dislocated me arm, youse cunt,” Liam said, glaring over at him. He pulled the sleeve from his arm and rubbed at his shoulder.

Kayden obviously couldn’t say anything back to him but he did open his mouth in a pant. A cheesy-looking dog grin that gave away how he was feeling.

“I can get a prong collar. Don’t ya tempt me.”

Kayden let out a bark. A bark of disagreement. Liam frowned at him and picked up a collar from a nearby table. It wasn’t a prong. It was brown leather. He fastened the collar around Kayden’s neck. When he was done, he gave him a playful but rough slap across his long snout.

Kayden snorted and shook his head. He let out an angry growl-like bark. He felt like biting Liam’s arm without the sleeve for that smack. The ass.

Before long, Mina and the man returned from her office. “Thank you, Joseph. I really hope you enjoy Kade as much as we’ve enjoyed training him.”

“I just hope my wife doesn’t kill me for bringing him home,” Joseph said, laughing nervously.

“You didn’t tell her?” asked Mina.

“I told her I was toying with the idea of stopping by. But no, she doesn’t know I’m bringing him home today.”

“Well, I hope it goes over well. We only do refunds if the dog acts up. Not because of angry wives.”

“Heh, yeah, don’t worry. Once she sees how smart he is, I think I can talk her into it,” said Joseph.

Liam attached a leash to Kayden’s collar and passed the leash over to Joseph, who gave him a silent nod as a thank you.

“Ready for your new home, boy?” Joseph asked, reaching down to scratch him on the head.

Ready as I’ll ever be, Kayden thought with a wag of his tail. He left the warehouse and obediently jumped into the back of Joseph’s compact car. As the car drifted out of the parking lot, all he could think was that this better be worth it.